I'm not the only one who is broken

I don't know. Thoughts are surging and bubbling in my head and I can't get them out. And I can't tweet about them either. They will either not make it within the character limit or I just do not wish for people to read them. Not that I have anything to hide. It's like casting a line, and waiting for someone bored enough to reel it in and check it out. Okay I'm rambling. Fuck. But it's okay. This is my diary. I was unable to find a spare notebook lying around in hall so blogging is the next best thing. After all this is the Information/Network society era, so says my New Media readings. Rambling helps. It clears up my mind. It relieves my angstiness. I'm pretty sure I just coined that word right up. ah who cares really.

Lately, I've been ruminating a lot. And as a psychology major, I know that's bad. But I can't help it. It has been a very distracting semester. I thought I can do better, after the disastrous end to 2010. Y'know, brand new start to 2011 all. And I'm now 21! I'm supposed to be more mature and all. But fuckkk, it's like permanent derailment. I don't even remember where's my destination anymore. I used to be so sure of myself. I miss that surety, that certainty.

I hate the way I am right now. There, I've said it. I can't blame 'life'. I always go FML but what I usually really mean is FuckwhatMidoingwithmyLife. You can't blame people for your bad decisions, which end up in shitty moments. so yes. Even though I'm extremely whiny, I like to think I whine responsibly.

Ah I've run out of steam. And reading back, it was a bunch of derailed thoughts once again. whatever. I just hope to find back my path. Right now all I'm seeing is overgrown weeds. With treacherously sharp stones. And misleading signs.

I'm feeling distracted

And likewise attracted

To all the things that you let me know

To all the things that you can't let go

You're waiting for friction

The empty addiction

Is forcing me to intervene

Let's break out of this scene

I know I'm not alone

I'm not the only one who is broken

And I know I'll never let you go

I could watch the world pass by

Just as long as it's you and I